OK, Google, here I am. A brand spanking new URL all set for you. But you never call, you never write. My Lijit search over there on the right doesn’t work without you, Google. And my AdSense? That is you, Google! Dammit, don’t get me started. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Play Elaine to your Lancelot and waste away waiting for you? I’m not feeling it, Google. I’m just not feeling it. So why don’t you crawl your robot ass over here right now and index my damn blog?
And while we’re on the subject of crawling, I know you guys at Yahoo! are up to here in alligators trying to fend off the barbarian hoards of Redmond. But still. You are in the search business, aren’t you? So search me, already!
As for you, Ask, it just hasn’t been the same since you dumped Jeeves. And you, MSN, what’s up with the butterfly? Maybe you guys have already stopped by. No offense, but how would I know? So it’s up to you, Google.
I’m waiting, Google. Don’t make me come over there…