As I Was Saying…

Chatter, memories and rants. Please, don't stop me if you've heard this one before.





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Confessions from the New New Frontier

Restuck in time

Monday, May 31, 2010 - 10:30 pm - My parents joke that when I was born in the summer of 1980, I joined my childhood already ten or fifteen years in progress. Like everything really funny, there is a lot of truth to it. In elementary school, for example, I listened to Billy Joel instead of New Kids on the Block and my [...]

The fat thing

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 - 2:58 am - My roommate my freshman year of college once told me, “You’re a bigger girl, but it works for you.” I recall that at the time, I was pretty crushed. She fretted when clothes ran small and a size 2 wouldn’t fit, once semi-bragged that she never allowed herself to eat more than 15 grams of [...]

In defense of ?America?

Sunday, March 22, 2009 - 2:24 pm - Orwell was a patriot, a patriot in the sense that he was able to identify things as characteristically “English” which he admired and felt a sense, however intangible, of personal pride in being associated with them. At the same time, he was very open in public and in private about his fierce opposition to British [...]

A belated answer

Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 11:22 pm - Part of the hiring process in the English Department at UMB is going out to lunch with a group of students so they can check you out and pass along their impressions to the faculty. Yesterday, I was one of these student representatives, and the complimentary buffet isn’t the only thing I’ve chewing on since. [...]

Here’s Your Diploma – Now Move Along…

June 19, 2008

The next generation comes surely on,
Their nonchalance baffles my intelligence.

Life is stranger than any of us expected,
There is a somber, imponderable fate.
Enigma rules, and the heart has no certainty.

—Richard Eberhart

We’ve come to the end of another graduation season. Colleges refer to graduation as “commencement,” perhaps as a way to stress the sunny beginning that awaits the graduates as they step (finally) into adulthood. By any name, however, a graduation feels more like an end than a beginning. When the ceremony is over, it is time to get in the car and drive away. In that moment, everything about life as a student may seem trivial in the extreme. A simple illustration makes the point:

Student question: How can I get all this reading done by tomorrow?
Newly minted adult question:
What do I do with myself for the next 60 years?

It’s no wonder the young almost always face the future with nonchalance. The chief alternatives—arrogance, despair, and whatever combination of these is currently in vogue—don’t get much traction in the world of adults. New grads are not slow in figuring this out.

Even so, there is no way to understand or even to anticipate the strangeness of life. Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people.

Or not.

We keep looking for unifying patterns, keep believing we’ve found unifying patterns. But so often the patterns vanish like movement you think you have seen in the corner of your eye.

In No Exit, Sartre has a character say that Hell is other people. But Heaven is also other people. It’s a good thing to keep in mind when enigma rules and the heart has no certainty.

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